twenty eleven

and here it is, the last day of the year.

2010 holds too many dear and some not-so-dear memories for me. i spent a lot of time self-reflecting over things that i didn't think about before. i know how it hurts to fall down on your face, butt, siap golek-golek turun bukit. i found out life may not be a bed of roses alone; also got sunflower, daisies, orchids, even the rafflesia wann. heh :p.

but then, i also knew that its satisfying to get up and still walk about, head high up. i realised who my great companions are at times needed. i knew this before, but i still have to say this. nothing can ever replace my family after their support and love to me through this year. had the best sleepover, the 1st i had in my 22years of living (pathetic, i know). RAFAR will be the death of me, i tell you. loves! best yet; i totally score 3 different BIGBANG DVDs!! courtesy of raihana asila. haha :D

i'm sure everyone are thinking of new resolutions, some more serious than the other. or even, sticking to the old ones and making oneself to be MORE determined to make sure its really done. heh. me, i gave up on these long time ago actually. just no matter how sure i was to be able to cover it, despite the effort, by the end of the year.. its not really what i hoped for. but, it may be for the better right?

"you can't always get what you want; but if you try sometimes, you'll find; you get what you need"

i'm looking forward to what 2011 will present on the platter for me. the bad parts sure got one, i just pray the better ones will be more this time. ameen. cheers 2011 :)

HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

me in lara croft mode.

realised i didnt make one this year. still, its never too late right. it was 3 days ago, nevertheless i hoped everyone had a MERRY JOLLY HOLIDAY! did u guys meet the dude in red?? he lost weight right?! thought he was a bit smaller this year. heh :) *end of lame joke*

i spent my very non-white christmas camping in the jungle this year. it was an AWESOME weekend. the 11 of us headed to riverredge (y is it not spelt ridge right?? i'm still bewildered over the same thing. trust me.) paradise eco-resort, reaching there only by midnite. so, it was all dark and cold, VERY COLD. wasn't prepared at all, i froze thru the night. see! x need got snow oso :p

the scenery needs no words. then, its jungle trekking!!! wahhhh, manyak rindu ahhh!!! :D. after the whole "becareful, duri!", "owh shit! stupid rock.", etc.. we reached this waterfall where we totally rockclimbed weyhh :p. siap repel repel down some more. cayaaaaa kaaannnnnnnn~ eventho i was scared shitless, those people won't let me go home until i'm done doing both. haha.

a weekend well spent is just what i needed. minus the point that i had the worst motion sickness in the history of mankind, i basically retched thru the whole 5hour journey home. was half dead by the time ainaa opened the door for me. geez =='

everyone :)

11 Saturdays to go!!

was just looking through my sem5 timetable.

yes, THREE more postings left. approximately 80days left. i'm gleefully counting the hours till

this.

this.

this.

and ESPECIALLY this :)

HAJJAH SARAH OTHMAN

*remember this?? XD *

after all the great times together.. the interesting ups and downs.

eventhough yu always want to emo-emo with me wannnn..... :p

still, i lapp lapp you to tinybits n pieces!

HAPPY HAPPY HARI TUA SARRON!!

loves, hugs and kisses;

HANNANONANON <3

pigs, buffaloes, dearest friends

last minute decision to head to davangere. SIX BLARRDDDYYYY HOURS in the car. never again u guys, never. korang pulak datang manipal :p

fyi, car wasn't moving. i found a whole new level to the word JAKUN XD

got caught pigging out. laparrr dowh.

never had so much fun in a supermarket before. pastu beli barang, mcm i nak duduk seminggu. aiyoo T.T

love you guys <3

to whom it may concern;

my stint in india is ending, SOON!! BOOYEAHH!!!

3 months 1 week. and MALAYSIA!! X)

sekian, harap maklum. teeheee.

bipolar-ed post

have i ever mentioned how egoistic, ridiculous, gila-malas-nak-layan tempe's are. ARGH T.T

two weeks ago, me and ainaa headed to udupi district police station to report ourselves, basically telling them ''HELLO! WE'RE BACK! againn....''. we also gathered info on how to extend our almost-expiring visa's. the pakcik misai gave us this form to fill, and its tajuk was...

form of application to be filled by ALIEN desiring to extend stay in india

and we were like, 'uncle! why alien?!?'. and he was like nodding, looking at us as if the reason is so obvious. i just can't terima, started blabbing how aliens = ET, UFOs, etc. he just wouldn't accept it, suddenly got up and stormed out of the room. the next thing we knew, he came back with a dictionary. he opened the book and started pointing, 'see! see!'

ALIEN : foreign, something out of nature

*go figure. sheeesh*

then, it clicked. apparently, foreign is a short of foreigner. aiyooooo =__________=

no words i tell you, none whatsoever.

********************************************

in today's posting, i came across a suicidal patient with severe depression. it really breaks my heart to see people struggling with their everyday lives, hitting rock bottom. having feelings of hopelessness and unworthiness in them. so many hands reaching out to help, yet its not easy to overcome such a burden.

this new patient was telling us, he was ready to take away his life. he even planned it to be on the nov 5th. which means, he had to wait for a whole 2 weeks. why?? his salary day is on the 4th. so?? he wants to pay of the loans he had 1st. nvm that. found out later, his birthday fell on the oct 30th. he celebrated it by giving treats at a children's orphanage. a suicidal patient with conscious and a kind heart. albeit all that; in the end, he stated that no matter how much the doctors help.. there's just no hope for him.

he seemed so... normal. yet, an emotional war rages inside him. pulling him left to right. i gave a small prayer for him, hoping he'll get back to the right path safely~

next up!

after 3 weeks of history taking, palpation (a word that i always tersasul with palpitations. hehh :D), main-main with itu stets; medicine postings are finally done! eventho it was very tiring, dgn ada doctor that won't even look at you if u want to ask her something, summore got patients that can pull their blankets over their heads so fast and buat-buat tido when we come near them; it was actually a nice experience. finally, i can see what it means to be a healer. regardless; aiman farhan, you're still to do SOMETHING ELSE and not medicine. harap maklum. heh :)

psychiatry postings coming after. excited? YES. as many of my dear ones know, i've always wanted to be a psychiatrist/psychologist for as long as i can remember. LOL. but it may not be like how i imagined it. fingers crossed people! X)

owh, dan jugaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

MAHU!!!!!! *salivates*

the truth behind the joke. blergh.

Criterias for becoming a Malaysian Govt Doctor. Theres no need for an aptitude test. Students should consider these requirements:

1. No life outside medicine; this includes dating, sports, clubbing, chores for your parents and visiting the toilet.

2. Not to live with your parents. Move out ASAP as they will never understand the ludicrous working hours that u go through. Furthermore, chores are not suitable for u as to rule No. 1.

3. Not to be married until completion of all 4 years of Govt Compulsory service as u will be transferred left and right to some of the most remote Govt clinics in Malaysia. Having wife and kids to follow you to your new working area may increase high level of stress on all parties. Furthermore, if your spouse is a Govt Doctor, he/she will also be transferred away from u and no matter what appeal is made, KKM will put up a deaf ear (unless u have big cables or of a certain skin color).

4. If married, no to have children until u finish all 4 years of Govt Compulsory service, as to which u and your spouse will not have much time for your child/children or they end up not recognizing u and refer the Indonesian maid as their mother (change in language patterns commonly follow).

5. To obtain life insurance once your govt service begins as there is not many claims for accidents during work. Don't be fooled, Doctoring in Malaysia is hazardous.

6. Able to withstand 36 hours of non stop work and stress without mistakenly labeling Left for Right or uvula for vulva (or Volvo S40)

7. To buy a car with complete safety features (like I'm doing) which includes multiple airbags, ABS, EBD, side-front-rear-top-parallel and diagonal impact bars and seat belts to ensure survivability if u are involved in an accident because your driving resembled a drunkard maniac after working in the hospital for 40 hrs non stop.

8. Constant supply of coffee

9. Nicotine Patch as u will have the urge to start smoking due to overwhelming stress

10. Interest in watching medical sitcoms such as House MD, Scrubs, ER, Grays Anatomy and Chicago Hope to inspire u to continue your life as a doctor as the exciting things u see on TV does not resemble the real life of a Malaysian govt doctor.

11. Not to have any pets or plants (not even cactuses) as u will have no time to feed or care for them and eventually all will end up in your mortuary.

12. Able to endure the stench of your own sweat as to when 36 hours "on call" does not permit u time to bathe or freshen up.

13. Able to carry on working without food or water over 15 hours. ( I was in OT for 16 hrs without food, water or bathroom breaks). If during fasting month, able to break your fast with ?water for injection? as u had no time to buy food.

14. Able to come to work with fever/cough/illness or physical disability (sprained ankle etc) as to which doctors do not deserve MCs. (My MO was on crutches during rounds)

15. Able to stand scolding, destructive criticism, kiss ass behaviors, racial bias, finger pointing, scape goating, and in competency from your superiors.

16. Able to withstand the jealousy when your friends call u up for some fun and ur stuck in the hospital during on call.

Extract from:

http://standup.blogspirit.com/

niceeeeeeee. sheesh =='

bukannya nak bagi kata-kata semangat. grrr :p

ponder

ever had this feeling that u're not adequately enough? no matter how hard u try to make a person comfortable, u can never achieve it. ever thought urself as irritatingly annoying? or is it annoyingly irritating.. does it even make sense? keeping a brave face forward, yet also wanting to shout out of frustration. is it really a crime to be happy always? to look at everything optimistically? i mean, compared to all the so called problems we face.. we are not the ones fighting against a fatal disease; or tak cukup makan ke.. life may not dish out the best of everything for us, but the least we could do is make the best of it right? now, am i being a surrealist; when i should be living as a realist?

************************************************

went to my dearest friend, mariam's blog. to find out its actually illegal to be fat in japan; click here. if this law gets implemented all over the world, this would so rid most diseases that haunt mankind now. and HUGE plus point, more hot guys too drool at XD *hannaaa hannaaa. tsk tsk tsk*

owh, dan saya MAHU itu iphone4. alahaiii. all the pictures i've seen was like "cik hanaaa, beli lah saya. u know u want me". sgt spoilt brat, saya tahu. but owh well..

NAK JUGAK :p

sudden thought

few places i just wanna spend weeks at :

JAPAN

KOREA
PARIS
U.KINGDOM

just totally in the mood to travel. super random, i know :)

*blows away all dust*

its been like what, almost a year? LOL. writing wasn't fun anymore before, things was going upside down for me. but now that i'm back on the original road, i can finally smile and say yawwwww, waddup!! :D

now that i'm in my clinicals, posted at the medicine wards. things are definitely wayy better then sitting my arse down at the study table to study patho, pharm, microb, blaaablaablaaa. more free time too. the rare mild honeymoon phase. haha.

the only thing is, the patients here don't actually know english. not even hindi or tamil kot, kannada is used around here. its basically how, cantonese n mandarin is the major chinese language.. and here, everyone uses hokkien only. aiya. for the 1st day, i felt like a 5 year old in front of the patient. flipping through the translation papers, looking for the word FEVER. took me blarrdy 15mins to ask "aunty, do u have fever?" ==''

asking is fine, the answer is a whole other story. LOL. nodding and geleng2 kepala i can take, yes and no. and we'll all go "aahhhhhhhh, no fever". but if the aunty extra baik and friendly, she'll start to story from A-Z in super speed. catching the words is hard enough, trying to actually faham the words. owh, the horror. haha :)

besides all that, its going great. company and nice memories. LIFE IS GOOD :)

postscript :

cik nurain dan babi kesayanganku,

dah lupa aku ke wei????

yaww yawww!

kehadapan ibunda puan RADZIAH ABDUL RAHMAN,

selamat hari mummy!!!! :DDD

sekian, terima kasih.

yang benar,

anak pertama anda yang sgt lawa, lagi hot. HAHAHA :p

hello MAY!

wah. sudah bulan may. time sure flies fast enough, just finished a block exam and i'm already heading towards another one in a week. need to breathe wei! studyin my arse off, in a way laaaaa. haha. just got my internet back, after 6days of puasa. not even a week, yet youtube and FB sempat tukar layout. laju sungguh. just happy that i'm now re-connected to the world :D

u know how i whined and complained it was so hot here.. it WAS!! the whole day, the sun was like 'i'll burnn all of YOUUU' .... erm, u get what i mean lah. then.. a sudden ribut taufan attack at 3am. of all timings! i tell you, it was scary weyh. whole apmnt building blackout till the next day noon, turns out the tiang elektrik outside got striked by lightning. hence, making my modem, the thingy that gives me the net hangus and my MIA story. found out, the whole manipal terbangun cos of the ribut. all the pokok2 and billboards jatuh. caya-ahh..

yesterday, we had a fly-fly kites session. went to support the heamophiliac society, raising funds by selling kites and lucky draw coupons. i tell you, in this situation.. usaha MEMANG tangga kejayaan. haha. itulah hanaa.. time kecik2, dun wan to learn. dah besar, baru nk main =.='

my kite ahh.. when its finally up, it came down as soon as i started to be xcited. aiyo, useless useless.. at least it was for charity, and FUN! ; in a "fly kite, flyyy!! yeayyyy!!! no! no noooooo.. damn." way XD

and tonight, having a potluck dinner at wafa's. owh, makan-makan session pula. saya dibawah biro pencuci mulut. hitting the kitchen later in ze evenin. and now, i gotta study 1st. perlu keep the yin and yang going. if not ahh... itu guru besar di melawati ahh, sure bagi gentle reminder again. heeeeee *peace* :DD

baiklah!

budak manipal signing out!

okays, NAK!

colour-me-katie flats (click here)

alahaiiii... comel kan, kan?? mahu mahuu! XD

as a birthday pressie anyone?

awal pun xpe. heee *angkat angkat kening*

please?

*grumble grumble*

it. is. so. freaakkiiinnggg. HOT.

i can be in my house, under a full-blast fan; and still be dripping with sweat.

i can be just done with my bath, under a COLD shower; to end up sweating 3 minutes after.

*grumble grumble*

earth hour passed by days ago for the whole world. india seems to be celebrating it a lil' bit to much. by having blackouts every hour. lemme clue u guys in...

blackouts = no power = no full-blast fan + hot weather = more sweat!

*grumble grumble*

okieesss.. switching to cheerful self now :). still as bored as ever. i now revolve around books and nothing more. and one day, a certain housemate of mine linked me a site which would amuse u, starting with the web address.

www.bored.com

its for real, go click XD

the other site u guys should check out ---> www.oddee.com

sumpah, the admins of this page LITERALLY memang xde kerje lain. haha!

current WANTs. sigh.

ho yeaah :D

owh. sangat ADORE!

*with small voice* ermm.. rare fan-girl moment. haha.

enjoy :))

yawww!

walaweeyyyyyy..

its been so long, too long. i'm back in moo-moo land, its been a week. came back to my apartment the 1st day, to find my kitchen window wide open. bird feathers all over, the 2-inches thick of dust on the floor. and to make it better, bird poopS on the floor! mildly stating, i was having palpitations and tachycardia on the spot. gahh. manipal is still as dusty and hot as ever. nothing changed, bsides my schedule. too much time on my hands, only the queen of england would know how blarddyyy bored i am. haha XD.

UTSAV is upcoming. yeayy! couldn't njoy the last one properly, gonna make sure i attend this one. it has only been a week, so i really have nothing to story2 now. LOL.

"success is only sweeter after a failure", quoting so lahhh the many people. but i never get tired of hearing it :))))

a memorable moment during the hols, went down-under to make my sis's life miserable :p

hello

it hurts. deep down, it really hurts.

ze end.

alone

i'm heart-broken. its so tough. never expected this. everyone around me doing great. embarrassed. frustrated. why me. why this. hurts. disappointed. a failure. feeling so alone. sighh.

kuala lumpur, MALAYSIA

yeah. finally. an update since EVER.

went through and barely survived the university exam. the papers SUCKED BIG TIME. i'm just hoping really hard, praying to god that i passed this year. i do not need to go through that AGAIN. sigh. i may look calm, but deep down.. i'm having small bursts of panic attacks. gahh.

nways, its over and done with.

home in FIVE DAYS. yeahhh!!! back to the food. shopping malls. basically, away from books. it'll b a lil quiet, since hani won't be around anymore. aiman, u're the victim now :p

practicals in 3 days. with that, the viva lists will be coming out. another round of suspense. yeapp, more unis talk. its not over until its really OVER right. in this case, until the results surfaces......saya tidak boleh duduk diam. aiyaaaa~

but stil,

KUALA LUMPUR NEXT WEEK!! WHEEE!!!!

no idea edyyy...
ok, now i go study :)

TO the guy who looks older than his age;

HAPPY HAPPY BLOW CANDLES DAY !!!

you're seventeen! 17!

too bad about your ipod nano. i REAALLLLYYYY wanted to get you one. owell. heeeee :D


BUT you still gotta belanja me makan laterr. why??
one, you got the head boy post.
two, i'm older and i'm entitled to bossing you around.

have a blessed year ahead, and may you finally get a girlfriend this time XD

.:si musafir:.

you're gonna fly soooonnn... *sob sob*
i x sempat see you.... *sob sob*
dunno when will god allow us to meet againnn...... *SOB SOB*

HUWAAAAAAAHUWAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! :'((((((

*sniffle sniffle*

(end of drama tamil)


HAHA. gilaaa ahhh.. aussie weyhhh! esok weyhhh! welcome to the MEDICAL WORLD. ngahahahaha :DD and please; don't hesitate to be home sick, or to call me anytime to complain why u need to study THAT much, or simply to miss me aloottt :p

sarah hani's list to do:

1. get kak farah a billabong cap (the one i have, dah penuh YOUR sweat. hee. )
2. find the nearest cotton on shop there. pleaseandthankyou.
3. find kak farah the cool hoodie.
4. take loadsss & loadsss of piccas of matsalleh yang hot *angkat-angkat kening*

nwaysss, you have fun there okengs!
me n mummy will see you in another 2 weeks. hahaha!
gdday maite XD
hugs~

XD

=.='

*enters a black box*

ARGHHHHH!!!!
tensi tensi tensi.
apa kes medic nih! gila banyak nk mampos kene study!!!!
should have just taken gourmet weyhhh... baik aku stress pasal makanan.
gahhhh!!!!!

one more week to unis.n i don't even noe what i remember.how laaaaa.....................
GGAAAHHHH!

*exits a black box*


okays. psycho mode over.
sambung pharmaco.
sighhh..
am soooo in need of a LARGE dose of chlorpromazine (nak tahu, go google urself :p)

and..

finally, the stress sets in. well enough to make a friend of mine lose her mind. marsheila om wrote a pantun yang perasan tahap dewa kentut. her only bahan is me n noreen. useless bitch. hahahaha XD

i'll let u read it for urself n judge her sanity accordingly. heee. bagi i, she dah over-dose microb. star student dah finish block THREE siallll. haha :p.

some words were erased to protect identities *caya ahh, my ayat.haha :p*

just click to enlarge :)

me and noreen tried a counter-attack (the ones in green is ours). haha. fyi, the 2nd verse,yang below the 'cacing'.. I YANG BUAT. hahahaha :p

but, alas.. she bambu us back by writing the last 4 sentences (after the whee!! ngee~). cheh.

accompanying this, is the pathogenesis of tetanus.
hence, yes mummy.. we ARE studying. don't worry :p

missing the other four saaannggaaatttt !!!

in normalcy, u always hear the daughter standing up against the parents to fight for their loved ones. the strict father saying NO! to the chosen guy, the mother disapproving. and now, i must admit i've watched too many dramas. haha :p

BUT..
10 minutes ago, i laughed my arse off to Pluto while on the phone with my mum. i was being entertained with the latest gossip of my sister having a so-called calon boyfriend. HAHA. and the best part is, hearing the two females bickering thru the phone; the mother asking the daughter to GET a boyfriend, the daughter saying TAKNAK.

mum : xnak dah all this good good friends. i want a different friend pulak.
daughter : good friend, boyfriend. same ony! go out, play, makan, balik. ok la tuh!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

owh, how i pity my dad now *sniggers*

rinduuuuu gila kat koranggg!!! :))

a short hiatus

exams season's up. i know, surely u guys are thinking "selama ni pun always exammm wat"..
but this time, its like big; HUGE. tahap grand master ahh. university exams, the FINALS. sigh. just fin block 4 exams & i'm already mentally tired. god bless me through out the next month. amin~

blogging would go on a kura-kura pace now. considering nothing interesting will actually happen; besides me studying, sleeping, studying, eating, sleeping.. everyday. for a month. see. not interesting :p

special shoutout!!!

anak johari no.2, budak SARAH HANI;
totally scored a place in sydney weyh!! dah la i x sempat meet u this february... sighhhh....
till we ACTUALLY meet, cancel TGI fridays ah. this needs a bigger makan-makan! chinese food shangri-la! fuuhhh.. layan XD

hugss womang! congratzz :))


anak johari no.3, mamat AIMAN FARHAN;
looks like, it was worth it laa.. u ass-kissing everybody through out these years. hahaha :DD. i expect you to score tokoh pelajar for this year ah. then, for once.. i can go to the school and shout for u in the front row, with a banner that says "saya kakak tokoh pelajar!! woot woot!!" & an arrow that points down to me. just how cool is THAT! hahaha XD

hence, u pun kena blanje me makan laterrr :)


miss u guys! :)

sincerely,
anak johari no.1

heee <3

qui sera sera ~

the "happy new year" syndrome

cause : transition from 09 to 10 year

symptoms :

1. unexplainable happiness
2. hallucinations of bigger dreams
3. 'turns-over-a-new-leaf' appearance
   

complications :

1. males - happy that they will be older
2. females - upset over increased age and wrinkles

treatment & prevention : enter a medical school, where they have major exams during its peak incidence.

*the above is credited to mr. sera of MMMC batch 22. macha, i curik ahhh :)


with this said,

HAPPY 2010 EVERYONE !!!
may the next year brings more great memories :)))

<3's