Trigger

1. Palpitations
2. Hyperventilations

Currently expriencing the above. Help.
T.T

its been awhile since my last sitting in the university exams. and its back. with full steam ahead, leaving me way WAY behind. with only 2 weeks left on the countdown and i have like 5 different types of countdowns around my room. not that its enough of a reminder. i'm studying as fast as i can (read: turtle) and drinking coffee by the galleons. this time around, i learnt a few new things about myself :-

1- under stress, i can cry buckets with the smallest stimuli. for example, here i am, randomly picking an episode of my favorite korean drama series to blow off steam. with fate, i chose that episode where the hero got dumped; a sad scene if you may. i then started... like the malay saying goes, menangis macam hilang laki -___-" well, at least i DID feel better after. LOL

2- i can no more be wonder woman and study till late at night and wake up early the next morning. 8 hours of sleep is the way people! how on earth did i do it on 4 hours of sleep during 2nd year is beyond me now.

what i know which still remains unsolved until now is..

why am i here in medicine school again???

no worries, i'll somehow adore this place again after my exams. but for now,

 THIS WHOLE THING SUCKS!

Escape

An escape needed. A flurry of rainbows. A chocolate waffle sundae. Anything but this.

its the small things, or the small creatures.

its been awhile since i wrote on this. like whole-heart-on-plate write. and today was just crappy enough to make my fingers click away on the lappie. learning medicine is just not plain taxing for me anymore. it seems like i've lost any minute emotions i have left in my amygdala since i came into surgery postings. last semester, i bitched and whined through it. but, i did enjoy it in some freaky level.

now.. i'm at a stage where i'm just plain scared right down to my osteo to even attend a class. where the teacher picks on you, sending you out of classes, humiliating you; just because your sitting positions are wrong. he might be a prof, knowledge level memang mantap. but then, what's the point when your students are plain terrified of you.

many say, don't run away. he will just remember you and keep hold of you. especially during the worst of times (read: end posting exams). at that point, just pray to god you do well enough for him NOT to fail you. according to eye-witness statements and the statistics, that almost NEVER happens. sigh. all i can do now is study hard, pray harder and just keep crossing my fingers. 2 weeks down, another 6 to go.

Ya Allah, help me here please. Ameen.

emo moment aside. i have a new friend :))

meet mr. orange, the new boy in my life <3

was studying in Mcd with noreen (hello you! if you're actually reading this. hee) when this lil cute thing came around my table for food scraps. ran back to the car, where i ALWAYS keep cat food. (if i can't save all the cats out there, i can at least feed them right? :D) gave him food enough for a week and went back to stdying. he went to go play2 with other ppl, made a fool of himself. i guess he was done for the night and decided to just jump on my lap and doze off.

OHMAIGOD. you tell me, how on earth was i to let him go? there was so much drama in between, which would embarrass me. i'm skipping it all to say he is now safe and comfortable in my home. taken care and being fed like 10 times a day. man, he's eating like all the time and not pooping. how's that even possible?? like sheila says, exploited itself to get a better life, from the streets----to a home. HEEE :DD

he made me smile through the week. calling home thrice a day to check up. i guess, HE gave me a lil happiness bfore all the shitty stuff came. so, am still strong and bitching about it here. LOL. i say, bring it on next friday sir! i'll be ready.

null

hiatus : a break or interruption in the continuity of a work, series, action, etc.

snippets of my current daily intake

• has now entered 7th sem, i'm now a full fledged 4th year medical student. don't know whether  to be worried or happy. but still, an obligatory YAYY! is a must :) 
• am in the 1st group, which goes through all the hardest letusmakeurelifealivinghell postings continuously. huh. gonna be an interesting semester @_@
• currently in medicine postings. having to go to muar EVERYDAY for ONE MONTH makes me flop at the end of the day. but buuuuttttt, BRIGHT SIDE? Dr. Lim E.K, an MO in ward 8 *swoonss!!* am on a mission to get his full name out of those initials. then, its FB stalking :D

best for last and all that. 

last saturday, i went to the Korean Music Wave 2011 concert in Stadium Merdeka. reason for being there? besides the obvious of me being an avid kpop fan and would go anywhere korean-related, MY BABY JIYOUNGIE WAS IN THE HOUSE!!  owh, and also TOP with baby seungri. ashlsakfdgjajasdakf;jhhs!!!!! *jumps up and down*

its safe to say that 99.9% who came were there for big bang.

MC goes on listing the line up of the night. the crowd goes "aahhhhh!! yaaaaayyyy!!"

MC goes and say BIG BANG!! the whole stadium was "AAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

*you just gotta imagine what i'm trying to say here. it ain't a 3D blog* heh.

i would continue just spazzing about them. but that would make me very high, and not make studying tonight possible. i shall now simmer down *think hospital. think muar. think Dr Lim. think block tests. think P2S1*

i'm now depressed, again.

bye.

HP7

its finally here. its all so bittersweet. the movie marks the real ending of the whole harry potter journey, something i've had ever since primary days. part of me wants it out NOW, the other wants it to continue forever. i shall be forever be in debt to Mrs. Rowling for giving me the best magical ride a girl could have.

side note: spent the night watching the world premiere streaming live.

tom felton's date was gorgeous.

i is heartbroken.

*imagines throwing her into a deepdeeeepppp never ending well*

now, what was i saying??

ahhh, tom felton was just too perfect! :D

jabatan psikiatri hospital besar melaka

owhhhhhh yesssssss. say it with me now. FINALLY OUT OF THE GRASP OF SURGERY!! (cues hula dancing around ze room)

freeehhhdomee people! and next up, as you might have read. psychiatry! its been 12days, and its utter bliss. minus 1 point amidst it all,

*cough*dato'doktorrajagopalyangbajetpowerlagihebat.pfffttt*cough*

to those who can imagine him, "you use the phone infront of me, YOUU DIEEEEEEE!!!". siap bulging eyeballs and gritted teeth. geez -_______-

handling patients in this wards can by amusing at times, but ALWAYS i pity them. having to be born with such a defect in their minds, so easily ridiculed by outsiders who cannot understand them. at least, they are all on the road to recovery.

i 1st entered the ward last monday, all wide-eyed and excited. and this chinese lady came straight at me saying, "saya kenal awak!" imagine my surprise, and went "owh?? mana you pernah tengok saya??". "DALAM TV!! ITU ASTRO GUNA MUKA AWAK TAK BAYAR, MCM SAYA PUN!!" i was like -_________________-, while the rest ran away trying not to laugh. well, at least i'm famous! in someone's head atleast :)